Wild Thoughts 

Your essence still lingers within me. Its like a virus that even the highest fever cannot dwell. I told myself you would be an after-thought, but here I am; having you at the forefront of my mind at this ungodly hour of the night.

I am filled with fear. Fear that I will never live up to the potential I have and become another mundane worker with a mundane mind. I have all these things I want to achieve, but the circumstances I am placed in refuse to budge.

Longing for the old days seems to be a theme I keep replaying over and over in my head. A simpler time where I was free of responsibility and devoid of this lonely feeling. I am surrounded by people I truly do care about and without their companionship I don’t know what I would have done.

I think it is an amazing point that majority of humans on this planet have a unifying experience that brings them together, and that is high school. There’s something about high-school that brings out the worst in people.

Home used to be a confusing word for me. I am what you call a ‘Third Culture Kid’ or TCK for short. Essentially, I spent my life in a country that is not native to my parents.

All I see is rubble falling around me everywhere I look. The weight of my own expectations making me crumble. The fear sets in. Fear of being unworthy, fear of being left behind, and the fear of not being considered good enough by a profession I have poured my heart and soul into.

I am coming up on my one-year anniversary since moving to Boston. In 3 weeks I will have crossed that milestone and I see myself reflecting on my past self and how much I have changed.