Your essence still lingers within me. Its like a virus that even the highest fever cannot dwell. I told myself you would be an after-thought, but here I am; having you at the forefront of my mind at this ungodly hour of the night.

The fact that I longed for you is not what tugs at my heartstrings anymore, it is the fact that you have completely vanished from my life that stings the most. I could have survived without your reciprocal of my love, rejection is a close friend. But not having you by my side is a reality that I cannot seem to accept.

I read back our old conversations, a task I do every time I have a little too much to drink. It gives me a sense of nostalgia and reminds me of a much simpler time, a time where I had you and a time where I never told you my true feelings. What pricks me the most are the times you said you’ll be there for me, you said you would be there to see me succeed, and, most importantly, will support me. I echoed these words back to you, but only one of us took those words seriously.

At one point in time I knew everything about you. Your deepest insecurities, you’re outlandish dreams, you’re favorite memories. Now I don’t even know if we are in the time zone. I still wish you on your birthday in hopes you might show me some mercy and text a two-word reply, but they are, of course, unanswered. Not because you have blocked me, but because you choose to ignore them.

Even though you have vanished from my life without a second thought, I still wish you no ill will. I will take every secret you told me to my grave, and I pray to the heavens you find success in a field that is not friendly to newcomers. Your friendship was the greatest thing I have had the pleasure to experience, falling in love with you was my err.

This is not me letting go. That stage will see many grains in the sands of time, fall.

~Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye~