Friendship: How Life Can Get In The Way

Friendships are a complicated relationship to maintain, and it only gets harder when you get older. People I would have taken a bullet for are now pretty much strangers. This isn’t because something happened or we had a falling out; it's just the natural course of life. I moved 7,000 miles away, had to maintain a GPA, and also juggle a new culture while trying to find myself.

But this metamorphosis is imperative in our journey through life. You start to realize that you outgrow a few people, and that it’s okay if they are not a part of your life anymore. This doesn't mean I don't have love for them; it just means I’ll be supporting you from a distance.

There are plenty of people from high school whom I don’t talk to anymore, many of them on purpose because it took me a while to see the toxicity. They might have changed since graduating college and getting jobs; I know I have. I’m 24, and I’m definitely not the same person I was at 17. But it’s not like I have any obligation to give them a chance or anything; they can do their own thing, and I can do mine. And that’s an okay viewpoint to have.

Let’s also not forget that trying to maintain contact is a two-way street. I found myself always being the first one to text and reach out. When I stopped doing that, those same people never texted me back. Again, not their fault at all; they have lives to live. I just realized that the extra effort I took wasn’t being reciprocated.

It may be demoralizing at times, but with time, you’ll start to understand why this happens. You start making new friends, and as adults, these are the friends you tend to make for life. At least, that’s how it was for me.

It’s okay if you lose contact with people in life; it’s not your obligation to keep the connection, especially if it’s always one-sided. Learning to move on from friendships is not an easy task, but one necessary if you want to find your place in this world.