A Reflection of my Past Year After Turning 25

I’m officially a quarter century old. 25. Another year older and definitely not any wiser. This past year, I’ve probably experienced the most change in my life, which has brought a lot of instability. I had to leave my job in Vermont and move back to Dubai. I spent almost 10 months searching for a job there with no results. And now, I’m in India, trying my luck here.

I feel like this journey has no clear end in sight, and that terrifies me. All I can think about is, what happens if I don’t find a job in India either? Where am I supposed to go? I’ve worked too long and too hard to become a journalist, so I refuse to switch industries.

But is this stubbornness good for me? Other people seem to think so, but I’m filled with doubt. Why couldn’t I get a job in my field in my hometown? I barely even got interviews, and when I did, it was for content writer roles which, and I’m sorry if this sounds pretentious, I’m overqualified for. Am I not as good of a writer and journalist as I think I am?

As if this wasn’t stressful enough, my love life is basically non-existent. How can I even think about dating when I don't have a job? But to be fair, that’s far from the only problem. I haven’t been in a relationship since high school. Sure, I had my fun in college, but I’m a hopeless romantic and long for a much deeper level of intimacy and connection.

I was talking to a close friend about this and told her that 95% of the people in my inner circle have a significant other. I spend time with them and feel filled with love and happiness for them because they have something I want one day. I’m not jealous at all. In fact, I’m manifesting that what they have, I will have too. My friends have found wonderful partners, and I can’t wait for the day I’m no longer the third wheel.

But love will have to wait. Even though I’m 25, finding my other half has to take a back seat to my job search and fitness journey. Hopefully, she can wait a bit longer. I’m coming as fast as I can. I can’t meet her the way I am now when I have nothing to offer. I want to meet her when I’m at my best, with the world at my feet.

Until then, I’ll make peace with being the third wheel. I’ve done it for years now. What’s another two or three more?